realmagick.com The shrine of knowledge.
Paganism & Wicca >> Humor
corn dollies, initiation ritual, minute pause, fabric store

On-Line Coven Initiation Ritual Log

Author: Raven Gilmartin

ravengil@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/ravengil2/
© 2001 Raven Gilmartin

Permission is granted to use/link


I wrote this as stress relief. A very heated argument was occurring in my
"Pagan Realm e-group" , and I got tired of arguing and correcting people about
what I really said and didn't say... Any way, this helped me to get my sense of
humor back..

Oh, and by the way..
THIS IS A JOKE
PEOPLE!


Blessings!
Tarty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Logging 2-14-01 23:01:34 pm EST

HPS>>
Before we start our initiation ritual, I have an announcement.
Fluffy
Moon Ferret has totally burned out her hard drive and
probably won't be able
to get back on line for at least two weeks
EAST>> Darn! She was
going to teach us how to make cyber corn
dollies next week
:-(
HP>> Can I suggest that we table this and get down to
business?
EAST>>Yes, sorry
HP>> We're about to
start the initiation ritual. Is everyone ready?
WEST>>
Present
EAST>>
Ready
SOUTH>>Roger
INITIATE>> I am
ready

~~(1 minute pause)~~

HPS>>

North?

~~(1 minute
pause)~~

HP>>
NORTH??
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to
reboot
HPS>>
Ok, we are all here. Initiate, are you skyclad and
ready?
INITIATE>>
Not yet-- hold on, I need to get a
pillow
HP>>Pillow?
INITIATE>>Yes, I have a metal
chair here at my desk. OK-- BRB

~~(2 minute
pause)~~

INITIATE>>
Ok, I am ready and
skyclad
HPS>>Good, now do you have the
cord?
INITIATE>> Yes, I have an orange one I got on sale at the
fabric
store today, is that ok?
HP>>It will have to do. OK,
now, tie your hands behind your
back, then bring the cord up around your
neck...
INITIATE>>Ummm.... I can't do that by
myself..
HPS>>Do you have anyone there to help
you?
INITIATE>>Only my mom, but she would kill me if she
knew
what I was doing in here
HP>>OK, forget the cord. Do you
have the blindfold?
INITIATE>>Yes, I do
HPS>>OK,
put the blindfold on and don't peek while we cast the
circle. Give us about
four minutes
INITIATE>>OK, I'm going to put the blindfold on
now, how will
I know when you are ready for me?
HP>>Do you
have an alarm clock?
INITIATE>>
Yes, but it's in my
room
HP>>
Can you go get it?
INITIATE>>Yes, but
I'd have to put my clothes on-- my mom is
in the next
room
HPS>>Never mind, just put on the blindfold and count to
240
INITIATE>>OK

~~(4 minute
pause)~~

HPS>>
Initiate?

~~(1 minute
pause)

HP>>
INITIATE??
HPS>>
Maybe he got
disconnected?
INITIATE>>I am here-- are you ready for
me?
HPS>>Yes, the circle is cast. Do you have your
sword?
INITIATE>>Sword?
HP>>Yes, while you
imagine that I am holding my sword with
the tip against your heart I want you
to hold your sword in the
same way
INITIATE>>I don't have a
sword..
HP>>Do you have an
athame?
INITIATE>>no..
HP>>Do you have anything
sharp in there?
INITIATE>>There's a pen on the
desk..
HP>>Ok, point the pen at your
heart
INITIATE>>OK
HP>>How do you enter this
circle?
INITIATE>>In perfect love and perfect
trust
HPS>>Good, now I need to whisper the sacred words to
you
INITIATE>>whisper?
HPS>>Yes, do you have two
phone lines? I can call you with them
INITIATE>>No, only
one
HPS>>Ok, I'll e-mail them to you BRB

**HPS has
left the chat room**
~~(1 minute pause)~~
**HPS has joined the chat
room**

HPS>>
Ok, I mailed them
INITIATE>>OK,
I'll go look

**INITIATE has left the chat room**
~~(1 minute
pause)~~
**INITIATE has joined the
chatroom**


INITIATE>>
I can't get into my hotmail-- I keep
getting a message
that the servers are down
HPS>>OK, you can
get them later. Now imagine that I am pushing
you from behind into the
circle
INITIATE>>from behind?
HPS>>Yes, kinda
like you are tilted, I am holding on to the cord.
Oh wait.. no cord.. ok,
just pretend I am pushing you into the
circle
INITIATE>>Ok
HPS>>Now we are going to go
around the circle three times.
INITIATE>>OK

~~(1
minute pause)~~

HPS>>
Now we're stopping in front of the altar
and I am holding
the
scourge

INITIATE>>
OK
HP>>You must
kneel at the altar while the High Priestess
scourges
you
INITIATE>>Do you want me to imagine that I am
kneeling in
front of the altar or do you really want me to kneel in front of
my
computer?
HP>>Can you kneel and still see the
screen?
HPS>>If he kneels he must also put his head down on the
floor
HP>>Well, I guess he can't kneel
then
HPS>>Yes, he can, I have an idea. Initiate--kneel and put
your head
to the floor and imagine that I am scourging
you
INITIATE>>OK
HPS>>I am now scourging
you

~~(2 minute pause)~~

HPS>>
Initiate you must now
scourge me twice as many times
~~(1 minute
pause)
HPS>>
Initiate?
HP>>INITIATE???
INITATE>>
I am here, now what do I need to do?
HP>>You must imagine
that you are scourging the High Priestess
WEST>>I need to go--
the baby woke up and needs to be fed
HP>>Can you feed him at the
computer?
WEST>>Yes, I'll bring him back here with me. North,
can you cut
me a door?

~~( 1 minute
pause)~~

WEST>>
I really need to go-- the baby is
crying
HP>>NORTH??
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to
reboot
HP>>Can you cut West a door?
NOW?
NORTH>>
OK, all set

**WEST has left the
chatroom**

HPS>>
Ok, should we continue or wait until West
comes back?
SOUTH>>I think we should
continue
EAST>>We should wait

**WEST has joined the
chatroom**

WEST>>
I am back, North can you cut me back
in?

~~( 1minute
pause)~~

HP>>
NORTH!!!
NORTH>>Sorry, I had to
reboot. West you are all set
HP>>Ok, where were
we?
HPS>>
The initiate has to scourge me. I am going to kneel
down
here now, and imagine that he is plying the
scourge
INITIATE>>Ok, I am imagining that I am scourging the
High Priestess

~~( 2 minute pause)~~

INITIATE>>
I am
done
HP>>Priestess?

~~(1 minute
pause)~~

HPS>>
I need to go right now
HP>>Why?
We are not finished here
HPS>>I banged my head on the desk when
I got up-- hard-- I am
bleeding all over my computer. I need to go to the ER
for stitches

**HPS has left the chatroom**

HP>>
OK,
we'll make this a healing circle instead
INITIATE>>I have to go
too, my mom is in the hallway screaming
and wants to know what I am
doing

**INITIATE has left the chatroom**

HP>>
OK,
everyone go light candles and we'll try to do this again
tomorrow
night
**Chatroom closed**

Logging off 2-15-01 01:32:41 am
EST