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golden apples of the sun, silver apples of the moon, william b yeats, sexual expressions

Self-love and apple blossom essence

Author: Anja Heij


And pluck till time and times are done

the silver apples of the moon

the golden apples of the sun.

- William B. Yeats


I zapped myself into Oprah’s show and was touched by crying people, who consider themselves ugly and despicable. Young, beautiful people who dare not even look into other people’s eyes out of embarrasment. They’ve come to believe that they are responsible for the wrongs others have done unto them. Unable to see that these others were aggressively living out their own feelings of unworthiness on a weaker person, they started to reject themselves.
Fortunately they receive sessions to adopt a more positive outlook.

Such stories are moving, not only because they address our feelings of compassion and justice, but also because we recognize our own hurt by loveless treatments.

I remember a lovely young woman, who kept her eyes down, dared not make decisions or go some place without a companion, having a job far below her capacities, and considering herself dirty, stupid and too fat. She had always been a bit shy, but it really got worse when she found a dominating partner, who forced her to certain sexual expressions against her will. “He was a nice man” she said. I don’t think so.
In fact this man was unable to give his own life form and he projected it on her. As a result she started believing she was unclean and unworthy.

Quite often people attack someone out of jealousy. So if someone tries to convince you that you are negative, it might be that (s)he cannot stand your qualities. Think of an incapable manager firing a good employee for a nonsense reason. In itself this is sad enough, but when the person starts doubting himself, listening to the voice of the inner saboteur “you are no good, you will never be good enough” the attack has become internalized.

People may develop neurotic treats as reaction on a negative self-image. Feelings of personal impurity could be polished away in obsessive house-cleaning or in constantly washing the hands. Ideas of imperfection can be externalized in obsessive repetitive behaviour like checking everything a dozen times. As if the person sends out the message: “I have failed on this part of my life, but maybe I can be accepted if I do other things extra well.”

Lack of self-love has many faces. Somewhere along the road the words “I Am” have been changed in “I am not” and we have adopted the belief that there is something seriously wrong with us, be it physically, emotionally or mentally.

One of the trees that inhabited the Garden of Eden would like to help you with again enjoying yourself. This tree belongs to the vegetative family of the roses, our flowers of love, and she blossoms abundantly in the white color of purity. Her name is Crab Apple and she is attributed to Venus-Aphrodite.

In all cases of low self-esteem, self-hatred, self-condemnation, dislike of self, feeling bad or stupid or dirty, feeling unworthy of love and attention, feeling unacceptable, finding the own personality or body unclean or ugly, unreasonable fear of contamination, or being self-destructive, the Bach flower remedy Crab Apple could bring help.
I don’t state that cases of serious abuse will be healed solely by a bottle of Crab Apple; I do believe the energy of the wild apple blossoms reach a helping hand in finding back the beauty in ourselves.
Crab Apple is known as the ‘purification-remedy’; it purifies both body and soul. It cleans out poisonous thoughts about one’s self as well as physical wounds and skin eruptions, or feelings of shame about the body. Feelings of impurity of the body can be deep rooted in the youth, when parents or the religious system disagreed with exploration of the body and disapproved ‘dirty thoughts’.
You can also use Crab Apple to support healing after an operation, or a spiritual transformation.

You can buy the remedy at many drugstores or health food stores, or online.
Take 2 drops in the morning and 2 in the evening in a glass of any liquid, or directly from the bottle on the tongue. You can rub 2 drops on the place of a skin eruption, or add 10 drops to your bath.

This remedy will help to accept one’s self as an imperfect human being on a path of growth, who is worthy of love no matter what. Through self-forgiveness and belief in your worthiness to receive, you open the way for new fruits of life to fall into your lap.
Re-discover the pearl that is you. As a Welsh proverb says: “A seed hidden in the heart of an apple is an orchard invisible.”

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